Why Space Matters
“Violent passions are formed in solitude. In the busy world no object has time to make a deep impression.”
Henry Home
As I continue on my journey, one of the important themes that has come up very often is the concept of space. Space is important for so many reasons as it gives you the flex in life. So how do I incorporate space into my life?
1) Time: One of the habits I got into in corporate life was filling up each minute of my day. I had appointments nearly every hour and often no time between meetings. What happened? I had to cut off productive conversations, I was often late for meetings, and I felt under constant stress. I was also less able to react to opportunities that presented themselves as I lacked the space to embrace them.
I started consciously leaving space in my schedule–even expressly “scheduling” space– and what happened? My stress went down, the quality of my interactions improved and best of all– serendipity and opportunity had a place to visit. Suddenly I was able to capitalize on new ideas in a way that had never been possible before.
2) Stomach. We often think about space in terms of time but consider food. One of the biggest issues with obesity in the United States is based on the fact that most people eat too much. They eat until they feel full. But our bodies do not require that much food. What would happen if when we sat down to eat, we stopped short of being full? According to some accounts, even eating a mere 200-300 calories less a day would make a critical impact on our obesity problem.
Next time you are eating, try to leave space on your plate and a little space in your stomach. Your body will thank you.
3) Relationships. It is natural to establish long-term friendships and a rich life is often measured by the quality of your friends. But as we get older, we have a tendency to maintain friendships to the detriment of new ones that could emerge. Indeed, it is often new friends and perspectives that cause us to grow the most. Leaving space for new friends to enter your life creates an opportunity for you to attract the people you need the most. Perhaps ones that are now a better reflection of who you are and what is important.
How do I hold this space? Each week I leave one night open for someone or something new. This is space I hold for the unknown. Not only does this help me meet new people but it becomes an evening I look forward to with great excitement. Who will I attract this week?
4) Finances: One of the areas that create some of the greatest stress in our lives is in finances. The recent mortgage and banking crisis was yet another example of the narrow–some would say non-existent–space that we afford ourselves in the financial realm. We all have a tendency to spend what we make and live to the edge of our means. When a single things falls, the rest of our finances fall like dominoes. There is no space to stop the damage and we end up in bankruptcy.
While I am always an advocate for saving, I prefer to think of holding financial space as an investment in me. I am investing in my mental health and my flexibility. It is one of the best investments you can make. Next time you are going to make a financial commitment think to yourself: is this taking away space that I need?
So how do you keep space free in your life?
I take space all the time.
I take Space between breathe,
I take Space between passionate embraces,
I take Space to read,
I take Space for great conversation,
I take Space for long walks,
I take Space to think,
I take space between thoughts,
I take Space between the silence,
I take Space to help my clients,
I take Space for digesting a great meal,
I take Space to love my kids,
I take Space to write the next bestseller,
I take Space to make a difference,
I take Space to love,
I take Space to heal.
I take Space to just be.
We do seem to live in a cultural mindset that space is meant to be used up. It does, as you say, give you the “flex” in your life. The idea that all the kinds of space we create, not just the financial, are an investment in ourselves really resonates with me.
I no longer book myself back to back. I say no a lot more. We have simplified our lives greatly over the last few years. I block time as soon after important meetings as possible to I have time to think, to integrate, to write, to move things forward. Still learning and exploring this arena so I appreciate you getting me to think about it in all of these dimensions.
I can see I also need to create space to come back here more often!
You had me at first-glance. Seriously, the serenity of the simple-monochromatic-themed-boat-on-the-still-water photo absolutely captured the essence of your written message – (which, for me, was) “find space ‘within’ in order to be all that we can be.”
Your words reminded me to find the “quiet-i-tude” that is necessary to stay grounded, be creative, be ‘there’ for those who need you, and be truly healthy (to your core.)
Your post has inspired me this evening… and it appears that you’ve inspired some beautiful messages from your other readers (e.g., Susan and Lolly, who are both platinum word-crafters.)
Thank you, and like Susan mentioned, I’ll find time/space to return to your blog.
I follow and enjoy your tweets, but waited until today to actually click through to your blog. This is a great post.
Making space in your professional schedule — allowing for serendipity et al — is an important one. If I have a meeting on a given day, I almost always push any other meetings to blank days. If you’re not careful, all of a sudden you’re packed end-to-end in churning up opportunity and tasks and not giving yourself the time to actually do any of the stuff you’re talking about. But you’re correct that it’s more than a simple time management question: sometimes the best way to be productive is to learn the value of when to be still, let things go with their own rudder for an hour or two, and see what arises. Space isn’t nothing, it’s full of possibility, and sometimes you have to be quiet so you can be visited by it. Planning your day for regenerative empty spaces makes your working time more fruitful.
Rock on.